Again

with the going back and reading old posts. Crap. I just herped that derp didn't I? Haha the worst part is knowing that I'll probably look back on this post (and others) thinking the exact same thing.

Okay. Life.

Senior year is upon me.

I'm freaking out. There's too much to get done, and there's just no time to do it in. ><

My personal statements? The ones that were due the 22nd of September? HA. HAAAAA. Nope. Haven't even touched them.

Ugh.
I don't even know where I want to be going in 9 months. Man.

I think I know what I want to do at least.

I want to be a copy editor for a book publishing company. That's a thing right?

Dude. Sitting  with a big fat red marker to mark all over some manuscript? Reading all day long? YES.

But where?

I feel like every time I lean more towards "GET ME OUT OF THIS VALLEY" that God is digging me in and making me take deeper root here.

It freaks me out.

Honestly, I would love to leave and go to either San Diego or Seattle. I don't care which. Just one of those two.

I miss San Diego so much sometimes. When Allie and I visited there in early September, walking through Downtown or along the beach in La Jolla, I couldn't believe how much I felt like I needed to be there forever.

But there's so much more I have to consider.

I mean, I kinda have to actually get in somewhere in order to GO somewhere.

And for that, I should probably actually write my personal statements. Just to start.

Geez.

Re-reading what I wrote in the past. Man. That's embarrassing >< I should just go away forever now my goodness ahahahha

Rewrite: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13

Love waits. Love comforts. It is not jealous, it is not obnoxious, it is humble. Love is polite, self-less
and even-tempered. Love forgives, love forgets. Love takes joy from truth. Love seeks and gives refuge from
evil in equal parts. Love is strong. Worthy. Love is hope and can never die. After all is lost, these three
remain: faith, hope, and love. But the strongest, biggest, most important of these is love.

Rewrite: Mark 1:14-20

I was broken when You called out to me.
I was lost in the hatred that had sealed my heart for too long.
I had given up, and given in.
I was left but a shell, filled with the sins can only hurt me.
My thoughts imprisoned, I saw no escape.
I was left faithless, hopeless,
Loveless.
But You cried out to me “My child! Don’t you know that your Abba has been here all along?
Don’t you know that your sin can only endanger you?”
You said this, but I did not listen. I heard it, but I didn’t listen.
How could You, Love itself, want anything to do with, let alone save, such a hopeless case as
I?
And how can I regain my faith? My hope? My love? All that which was stolen from me by
misguided trust.
What could you gain from holding such a pile of useless ash, the remains of Your creation,
eaten alive by the fires of folly, false hope, and frigidity of heart?
But You continued to cry out! “Daughter, how can you not know that I love you? Why do
you think you are so broken that I, the Maker of all, cannot restore your spirit?”
I didn’t have an answer for You. So I let You hold me.
How great is the God who can heal the broken with but an intangible embrace?

I am whole.
I am new.
I am free,
but I choose to serve you Lord.
I am forever grateful for Your embrace.
Amen.

Rewrite: Genesis 2:4-24

God, You formed me. With Your bare hands You scooped the dirt and as the clay fell through Your mighty fingers, You began to sculpt me.
I was formed and the earth was perfect. But I was alone. You gave me tasks to occupy me, but I was incomplete.
You saw that I needed more, but how could You know?
I hadn’t said it. Indeed, I was unaware of my emptiness until You filled me as I fell asleep.
As I dreamt, You took a piece from my side, You pulled me apart.
This physical hole You left in me, it wasn’t painful, it was welcomed.
I awoke to the sound of Your voice: Here she is, she will make you whole.
And whole I was made.

Rewrite: Genesis 1:1-21

Where to begin?
With nothing. No, not a thing.

I watched You take the nothingness and speak to it, Your words gave the nothing form.

What are You that Your words alone create the universe?

What mighty star-breather is it that called out to the air and the waters below to make the horizon?

All the earth was formed by Your breath

All the creatures that dwell therein, made by the same.

The thunder came from Your voice, the lightning answers Your call.

The world fell to You, to Your spirit, massive and mighty.

Under Your breath it was formed.

Beneath the great expanse of Your voice, the universe was born.

Where to begin?
With words. With words.

Up All Night

        It’s 11:45 in the late evening and it’s Thursday, soon to be Friday. Not only are you planning to get down this Friday, but you are waiting for that movie. That movie that you and your friends have been anticipating since you first heard rumors about it years ago.

12:02 Friday “morning”. The lights begin to dim, the cheesy music stops, and the curtains begin to reveal the full length of the silver screen while you, your pals, and that weird guy who sat next to you, all begin to cheer!

        A midnight premiere. A exciting tradition for all fanatic movie-goers of the adolescent sect. A once special treat that over the summer of 2011 became something of a habit. This summer, nearly every A-listed movie was released at midnight. This year, teenagers attended more midnight premieres than ever before.

        Despite technically breaking their city-inflicted curfews, teens across America got special permission to be out into all hours of the morning. After all, after a two hour movie, what better idea for starving youngsters is there than a 3 AM trip to IHOP?

        These times of lazy summer days leading into the never-ending nights, these midnight movies that screw up your sleeping schedule forever, these will remain a part of your best high school memories.

        It became something of an epidemic this summer. If the movie wasn’t released at midnight, it was assumed by teens that it probably wasn’t worth seeing anyway. And the hype! The hype that surrounded a midnight premiere is something of a legend for the movie industry.

        The midnight premiere of the final segment of the Harry Potter series sold more than twice the amount of tickets of any other movie this summer, in pre-sale tickets for the midnight premiere alone.
These are the memories that will stay with them for their entire lives. 

What do you remember about Cowboys and Aliens? You may not remember half of the plot, but what about going to Del Taco afterwards where you were talking with your best friends until it was nearly time to call it “early” rather than “late”? That is something you will keep with you forever.

"last published on July 8th, 2010"

Good grief. and that wasn't even a "real" post perse. Haha, sorry formspring, you really don't count.


a lot has happened since July 2010.

For one thing, we got all the way through July 2011. Honestly, I completely forgot I had this blog until my youth pastor was talking about his new blog for the youth group. ( mirymovement.blogspot.com Check it out :D )

I think I stopped writing here for a few reasons A) I started my junior year of high school, B) I realized that really, no one needs to have to read my whinings and C) I started keeping my journals in Composition Notebooks. (I'm on #5 since July 2010)

But, looking back, I kinda wish that I still had kept this up. This is October of my Senior Year and SO much has changed.

I'm at Desert Christian Academy, but I will forever be a Blackhawk in my heart.

Some of my very best friends are off to college.

Some of those whom I never considered to be my friends, are now my very best friends.

I still struggle with all that I used to, even just as an 8th grader.

But I've grown up. Not entirely of course, it's a process. But I am so much different than the girl who last kept up with this blog.

I think I'm gonna change that. I think I'm going to keep updating it.

I think I may also link this to my tumblr account -- smgre.tumblr.com

And for those who don't know, follow me on le tweeter! @twinkiewizard_

And for anyone who actually reads this biz and shiz, I'm back. :)